LIGHT BONDAGE & BDSM

Physical Restraints

With restraining being the most traditional form of bondage and discipline, the easiest way to restrain someone is to use restraints, cuffs & ties.While they do have their place in a Naughty Cop roleplay, we advise against using actual handcuffs, as they can easily hurt the wearer in not-so-sexy ways. The best cuffs are the soft-lined leather or faux leather cuffs, or even neoprene cuffs. These are usually joined by detachable chains or cords.

Bed restraint kits are very handy, as they have cords designed to fit under your mattress with cuffs extending out at four corners for wrists and ankles. They’re adjustable for all bed sizes (and person sizes) and can provide a real sense of full restraint without too much fuss.

If you’re interested in Shibari – the Japanese art of rope bondage – you’ll find plenty of information about it on the internet. You might even be lucky enough to find a local class if you live in a big city. Shibari has even made its way into the fashion world, with dresses adorned with diamonds and criss-crosses of elegant coloured rope. The best rope to use for Shibari is simple cotton sash cord (easily available at your local hardware store) or treated jute or hemp rope. Remember to get yourself a decent pair of safety shears if you’re planning to tie your partner up, just in case you need to cut them loose in a hurry. You don’t need a lot of knowledge to do some basic restraint ties with rope – just find a decent tutorial on YouTube and watch carefully. But don’t try complicated things like suspending your partner from the ceiling, as this can really be asking for trouble.

Whips and Paddles

If you visit a BDSM party, you’ll hear a lot of talk about impact play. This is basically when someone is smacked with an implement, whether it’s a hand (and who doesn’t like a little spanking from time to time?), cane, whip or paddle.

Paddles are great if you’re just getting started or are interested in more vanilla sex. They make a good whacking noise, and can feel quite heavy on the receiving end, but they’re unlikely to do any damage and are easy to hit accurately with.

Whips and crops can be a little more tricky, and you need to be careful not to hit in danger spots like the stomach or lower back. They can hurt quite a lot – it’s a stingy sort of pain – and leave bruises, so start gently and always consider the receiver. They’re still easier to manage and less likely to do major damage than canes or bigger whips can.

Remember, with all kinky play it’s important to have a safe word and to respect what your partner needs. If the play isn’t working for them, you must stop. Safe words are usually different to ‘no’ because in some kinds of kinky play a partner might want to be able to say ‘No’, ‘Don’t’ or ‘Stop’ as part of a role-play, without having you actually stop. So you want to choose a safe word that they can use only if they actually really want you to stop.

Nipple Clamps

Nipple play is an exciting part of sensory bondage play. Nipple clamps are applied to the nipples to cut off blood flow to that area. When they are removed, blood flow returns and the sensitivity of the nipples is greatly heightened. Depending on the tightness of the clamps, they may be fairly comfortable to wear or increasingly painful. Some nipple clamps are joined by a chain which may be decorative and also handy for a partner to tug on to increase sensation. For beginners, adjustable clamps or tweezer clamps are the easiest to work with. Clover Clamps have a mechanism that makes them particularly tight, and they are often the clamp of choice for sado-masochistic play.

Be aware, when removing nipple clamps, that the wearer may experience sharp pain. Make sure to take the clamps off quickly and not have them slip and clamp down again.

Masks

Masks & blindfolds used in BDSM play are not the frilly masks intended to conceal the wearer’s identity, however often those might appear on the covers of erotic novels. They are more like sleep masks, or blindfolds, intended to block the wearer’s sight. He or she is then more aware of sensation, as their dominant partner teases them with ticklers, toys, or whips. For some people, this is a highly erotic experience, while for others it’s a bit more scary. Either way, you can play with the feelings to create an intense sensual experience.

Ticklers

Ticklers are usually made of a bunch of light feathers at the end of a stick, and can be used to tease and titillate your partner’s body. These sex toyss are popular in kinky sensation play, especially if the receiving partner is masked or blindfolded. Light, quick touch or dragging the feathers along an erogenous zone may have different responses. Take your time and enjoy exploring how your partner enjoys the sensations.

Strap-On Harnesses

Strap-on harnesses allow a person to wear the dildo of their choice in order to penetrate a partner via strap on sex. Pegging, in which a woman penetrates her male partner anally, can be an incredibly intimate and pleasurable experience for both partners.

The harness has an o-shaped ring at the front, through which the dildo is inserted, pointing outward. The harness is then strapped around the wearer’s hips and upper thighs and adjusted for best fit. Some harnesses have a pocket type space behind the o-ring which can hold a bullet vibrator against the clitoris of the wearer.

You can also find some harnesses designed for men to wear so that they can use a dildo and the penis for double penetration of a female partner’s vagina and anus. These are a bit harder to find.

Whatever your preference, bondage within the bdsm community relates specifically to the feeling of the temporary transfer of control and power and the ability to gain pleasure from the restrained partner’s submission. Many couples incorporate bondage into their sex lives, whether it be through the form of a sex game or a sexual fantasy enactment.

Remember, bondage is safer when conducted between trusted partners who respect each other’s boundaries and fully understand the risks involved and precautions necessary to ensure informed consent and safety. Your BDSM activities should never cause you any harm, pain, or excessive discomfort and any sexual act should be considered consensual.

For more information, we reccommend the following articles from our blog:

8 Unusual Sexual Kinks That Are Fun To Try Together

What is kinky sex anyway?

What the Top 3 Sexual Fantasies Say about the Human Psyche

6 Easy Sex Tips For Women To Instantly Improve Intimacy

Questions on Couples Bedroom Bondage Answered!

9 Ways Bondage Sex Gear Can Fail During Enthusiastic Use

How To Humbly Introduce Kinky Sex In The Bedroom

These Are The World’s Most Popular Sexual Fetish Games

How To Choose Bondage Sex Toys That you Want