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The Honest Facts on Sex Drive Revealed

Your sex drive is a unique and mysterious power, made up of a combination of feelings, chemicals and external factors. It’s time that we took an honest look at libidos and how they work!

Did you know that libido is one of the most important factors in determining an individual’s overall health and wellness? People have always been fascinated by how their libido works, why it increases and decreases at different times and how it influences bonding in long-term relationships.

The desire for sexual activity is stronger in some people than it is in others. Some say men have higher libidos than women. Some women swear that they cannot find a man who can keep up with them in the bedroom. Whatever your reality, knowing the facts gets you closer to understanding them – and the dynamics going on in your relationship.

low drive for sex can happen to any couple
Low drive for sex can happen to any couple

Today’s post is about your libido, the sex drive enhancer, and what makes it tick. Let’s explore the facts of this critical sexual function and how the laws of science will impact your sex life.

A Brief Exploration of The Human Libido

Dr Tomislav Mestrovic of News Medical defines libido as ‘sexual drive or the desire for sexual activity.’ While science has found a person’s sex drive to be uniquely hormonal and biological in nature, it is widely accepted that a number of cultural, social, genetic and developmental factors are also at play.

This is why different people tend to have different levels of sexual motivation. In order to maintain a healthy drive for sex, you would need to ensure a consistent balance of physical, social, emotional and mental states or your drive will fluctuate, depending on the disruption experienced.

It is important to understand that there is no right or wrong way to be when it comes to libido. But understanding the facts will help you realise whether you have things to work on!

The Raw Facts Driving Sex

#1: For the male sex drive, the most important hormone is testosterone, even though men also produce oestrogen. As men age the levels of testosterone in their body changes, which causes sexual activity to decrease. Testosterone as an androgen is often misunderstood, but this is the hormone that increases your sense of pride, boosts your self-image, helps you connect with your partner and makes sex more satisfactory.

woman sometimes experience low drive for sex sometimes high drive
Woman sometimes experience low drive for sex sometimes high drive

#2: For the female sex drive, the most critical hormones are oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone – with oestrogen being the most important of the three. This hormone can decline with age, leading to hormone changes which can negatively impact sexual desire. Oestrogen impacts your brain, moods, heart and skin and is the main influencer of your libido.

#3: A man’s sexual drive is scientifically stronger and simpler than a woman’s drive for sex. According to Roy Baumeister of PsychologyToday, researchers have settled on this fact due to the evidence that men think more about sex, masturbate more often, pursue sexual activity with greater frequency and want a greater variety of sex than their female counterparts.

#4: Both a man and a woman’s sex drive is located in their brains in the preoptic area of the hypothalamus, which is said to regulate ‘mating’ behaviour. Interestingly, a man’s hypothalamus is more than twice as large as a woman’s, which may be the reason men are so motivated to have sex.

#5: Environmental and social factors are strong influencers for women, and the female libido is easily diminished by fatigue, stress, restlessness – even sudden changes in weather. Women are also less likely to want sex if they are experiencing emotional distress or are not happy with their partners. Men on the other hand will often choose to have sex anyway despite these conditions.

#6: Women’s drive for sex tends to peak later than men, at age 32 – while men peak at age 18. While the peaks happen at completely different times, men still tend to want sex more than women because of the amount of testosterone in their bodies.

#7: One of the best ways to improve a person’s libido is to improve their circulation! That means engaging in healthy exercise and eating foods that contain a lot of antioxidants. This is exactly what your body needs to ‘get into the mood.’ Alternatively drinking alcohol, smoking and lazing around – all things that decrease blood flow, can actively lower your sex drive!

#8: According to scientists working in the field of philematology, also known as kissing-science, there is a strong scientific reason why kissing instantly increases your sex drive. The biochemistry is to blame, with hormones like testosterone unconsciously being transferred from the male to the female during wet, sloppy kisses. This makes kissing the best natural libido booster there is!

#9: There are no clinical studies that prove any kind of food acts as a sex drive enhancer, which means that aphrodisiac foods are nothing more than a marketing gimmick. The myth obviously arose from romantic situations where a woman was made to feel special and comfortable, and her sexual interest was chalked up to the food she was eating. But this is not the case at all! Tasty foods are great, but they don’t make you want sex. There are however some types of food that can lower your drive, like refined carbs and soy.

low drive for sex makes it harder to turn woman on
Low drive for sex makes it harder to turn woman on

#10: In a very famous study by Meredith Chivers, women were connected to a plethysmograph, which measures lubrication and vaginal blood flow – in other words it measures sex drive and what turns a woman on. The results were incredible – nearly everything turned the woman on except the image of a naked, un-aroused man. The study proved that women can be turned on without emotional connection and established intimacy, shattering a common myth.

BONUS FACT:

Use it or lose it – it’s a fact that the more sex you have, the more you will want. To increase your ‘hunger’ you need regular sexual experiences or you will eventually fall into a state of sexual hibernation, with a sex drive that barely registers in your life.

At the same time having more sex doesn’t necessarily mean you will be happier or more fulfilled. A team of scientists at Carnegie Mellon University have actually found that it is the quality of sex that matters most, not the quantity. It seems the key to a happy sex life is to focus on quality experiences with true intimacy and connection, than sex for its own sake.

Matching Drive Compatibility: Concerns

Perhaps the most common issue with sex drive in relationships is that men and women often end up realizing that the person they are with wants sex more or less often than they do. A mismatched drive for sex can be a terrible thing to endure in a relationship.

One person constantly feels undervalued and unfulfilled because they are not getting enough sex, while the other person feels pressured and guilty because they cannot authentically give their partner what they need. This usually happens when a man’s drive is higher, and women’s is lower, but the roles can very easily be reversed depending on the couple.

low drive for sex needs to be resolved
Low drive for sex needs to be resolved

Reddit, a popular community forum known as ‘the front page of the internet’ has many personal confessions from real people questioning and speculating about this exact problem. On this forum there are boards like the ‘LowLibidoCommunity’ forum where people discuss these concerns. Check it out if you would like some alternative perspectives.

Managing a mismatched sex drive is a difficult, but not impossible task. Being out of sync with each other is an issue that creeps into most long-term relationships. The trick is to try and eliminate all outside stressors that may be lowering sexual interest, by confronting emotional issues directly.

Once these have been removed, adding novelty (like sex toys, gifts, gift sets or games) can liven things up and boost interest and connection between the two of you. Buy her some erotic literature or invest in a new type of stimulant to make intimate moments more exciting with him. You can also try reigniting the passion with edibles or a sensual massage or two.

The only way a sex drive mismatch works itself out, is for both partners to spend time considering each other’s needs and how to meet them. This will take time, energy and a lot of trial and error. The important thing is that you speak about it regularly and without blame or resentment. Everyone is different, and you can enjoy a great sex life together – even if your drive is not the same.

How can I improve my sex drive? There are many ways you can guarantee a healthier version of your natural drive. These include plenty of exercise, good nutrition, understanding the facts of male and female sexual drivers, and working on emotional and environmental circumstances that may lower your need to have sex. Together, you can find a way back to perfect love and fulfilment.

For more great information on sexual health, check out our posts on how to immediately spot sexual addiction, or find out more about the world’s favourite fetishes in the bedroom.

What Do You Think?

Thank you for reading our post, we hope you found it useful! In the spirit of our mission we have one more thing to ask you. Which do you believe poses the greatest problem, a man with a high libido or a woman with a high libido? Your thoughts are important.

You can leave us a message on our adult shop contact us page or, be bold and leave a comment below. We would really appreciate your feedback and input.

About Jade

I am the Operations Manager at Désir & feel so privileged to have been a part of this adventure from the very beginning, conceptualizing and building our amazing lingerie and sex toy ranges. Having a Diploma in Business Analysis my aim is to assist in the streamlining of processes, thereby ensuring maximum efficiency, remaining relevant by keeping up to date with trends, and producing statistical analysis in order to meet our consumer’s needs.

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