Wearing sexy costumes and roleplaying is an exciting part of erotic fantasy play. In this post we teach you roleplaying fundamentals, to unleash your fantasies for intensely intimate experiences.
One of the first things human beings do as they reach sexual maturity, is they fantasize about people, places and things. Eventually these become scenarios that are extremely arousing to the person dwelling on the fantasy. Sex and imagination have always gone together well.
Like fine wine and good food, one cannot be exquisite without the other to complement it. That’s why the art of roleplaying is so exhilarating and sexy for so many men and women. Who wouldn’t want to take a break from ‘normal’ life to experience something completely out of character?
We all learn to pretend when we are very young, and many of us continue using these skills in the bedroom with adult costumes. Convincing roleplay can be extremely erotic, and couples that learn to perfect it enjoy hours of sexual make-believe that satisfies their every fantasy and desire.
In this post, we expose why people love sexy costumes and how to live out your sexual fantasies.
Roleplaying 101: The Rules of Sexual Fantasy
Roleplaying is a popular form of sexual expression in committed, long-term relationships where both partners dress up to create a sexual scene that they can then act out. Lingerie and other types of sexy costumes are commonly used, and fantasies from each partner are often played out according to a discussion.
Portia Blush, sex expert over at the Goodvibes blog, says that for couples starting out the most important thing is to not over-think it. Have fun and get as close to the real thing as you can, for truly fun experiences with your partner.
Here are the rules for roleplay beginners:
#1: Effort makes erotic roleplay work. You can decide to do a doctor-nurse scene and only one of you dresses up, but then reality is going to mess with the fantasy. If your sexy costumes are plastic and Halloweeny it will feel silly. Keep it hot, this is for sex after all.
#2: Roleplay sometimes doesn’t include sexy costumes at all. There are couples that only verbally roleplay, exciting each other through fantastic words and imagined scenes. This is a great skill to practice, because it can be done anywhere, which means that travel just got a lot sexier for you two.
#3: It’s a lie that there is no wrong way to do it. Roleplaying is hard, and you will feel awkward, stupid and ridiculous the first few times. But it is a learning process. How far can you push the fantasy? What imagined things turned you on the most? Try, try and try again.
#4: Your adult costumes should be authentic, sexy and fun. Or they can be trashy, slutty and terrible if that is what excites you. Props and sex toys for couples can make any scene interesting, so integrate these into your sessions to mix things up.
#5: Things can sometimes go south, so it’s good to set some ground rules first. Before any scene, and before you have donned your sexy costumes – discuss what you would like and how you feel. Also make a point of setting who will be the giver and who will be the receiver – mix this up regularly.
For first-time roleplayers pick a scene that has always appealed to both of you and give it a test run. This can be a truly exciting form of foreplay and exactly what your sex life needs to come back to life.
Once you have these rules down, it’s time to prepare your first ever scene:
Step 1: Picking Your First Intimate Sexual Roleplay Fantasy
Roleplaying takes honesty and trust, especially when you are sitting down to discuss it for the first time with your lover. Spend a few hours chatting about the fantasies you have always wanted to try out, the sexy costumes you have always imagined yourself in and explain why it turns you on.
Consider this step 1 of your official brainstorming session. A veritable ‘possibility showcase’ where you get to reveal what you like and so does your partner. If you have no idea which fantasy you want to begin with, try picking one of the classics:
- Doctor and a nurse / nurse and a patient
- Cops and robbers / Policeman and criminal
- Teacher and a student
- Actress and a casting agent
- Athlete and an adoring fan
- Rockstar and a groupie
Writer Lyndsie Robinson of Allwomentalk.com has a great list of more roleplaying ideas here.
Step 2: Take Time To Prepare For Your Scene
Preparing your sexy costumes is a lot of fun, especially when neither of you is allowed to see them before the main event. Consider converting your bedroom into the scene you need by collecting props and other fantasy-related scene items.
Sometimes roleplaying starts outside of the bedroom, in other places. These can be great entry-level fantasies to play out. For example you both go to a bar and pretend like you don’t know each other, until you meet, flirt and then flurry into a ‘random’ hookup with different personas.
Preparing for your scene also means research and playing your role! Once you are wearing your sexy costumes, you need a persona to go with it. It will be hard in the beginning, but the more you do it the better you will get. Each of you can be anyone and anything – even famous people!
Here are some tips on getting into character:
- Write down a brief list of 3 likes and 3 dislikes that your new persona has.
- Give them a core sexual desire to enrich the experience for the both of you.
- Once you are in character you may not break character until after orgasm.
- Before the session make sure no-one bothers you for your intended play time.
Part of the fun is developing a quick but sexy character who you can both meet and enjoy for your evening of sexy costumes and roleplaying!
Step 3: Just Go With It
As your roleplaying session begins you might end up playing out a completely different fantasy than the one you previously spoke about and prepared for. If this happens – go with it! Stopping mid-roleplay to express your dislike over the direction is an instant mood killer.
Sexy costumes will only take you so far, then it’s up to your chosen personas. Spend time seducing each other this way to make it really exciting. Don’t just give in! Part of the fun is resisting, throwing obstacles to passion into the mix and making each other work for an intimate encounter.
If your partner really does something you don’t like, steer them away from it in character. Then make a mental note to discuss it with them afterwards. Again, do not set the fantasy on fire for the sake of a silly gripe or a thing you don’t really want to do.
The Final Step: If It’s Not Fun You’re Doing It Wrong!
Sexual fantasies are an excellent way to get to know your lover deeply, from a wide range of different perspectives and acts. Remember that even though you are both wearing sexy costumes, that ultimately you are still each other. Don’t do anything you would not actually do.
Roleplaying is not an excuse to trot out fantasies that are degrading, uncharacteristic, or that one of you really does not like. At all times these games need to be mutually beneficial and fun for both people involved. If you are not having fun, you are doing it wrong – as they say.
Are you ready to start planning your sexy costumes? Build your collection of outfits to repeat personas and scenes, so that you don’t have to keep making so much effort. Couples that roleplay often have several scenes that they revisited, and even personas they take on again and again.
A good time to try roleplay for the first time is around Halloween. ‘Where can I buy sexy Halloween costumes?’ We stock a wide range of items that are perfect for luxury Halloween parties or refined roleplay with your lover. Hey, if you are going to spend the money you might as well make it count!
For more exhilarating information on couples play, check out our posts on 15 sex toys for couples who want to try new things (like costumes for sex) here, or read up about the benefits of sexy lingerie in your relationship, which includes roleplay costumes here.
What Do You Think?
Thank you for reading our post, we hope you found it helpful. In the spirit of our mission we have one more thing to ask you! Which costume fantasy appeals to you the most? Can you explain why without getting too X-rated? You can leave us a message on our adult shop contact us page or your can leave a comment below. We would really appreciate your feedback and input.