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Everything You Don’t Know About Masturbation

Masturbation. Solo play. Self-love. Whatever you call it, it’s the one element of sexual experience everyone is familiar with, but few people dare speak about in public. Today, we’re changing that.

Sex education in South Africa these days is still shockingly limited. Even when there is an appropriate space for education, it’s usually hopelessly dated and incredibly conservative.

The old-school stigmas persist, and they cause harm in relationships that could otherwise be happier and healthier for everyone involved. Self-love needs a podium and we’re going to give it one.

That’s why today’s post is about masturbation, and everything you thought you knew, but didn’t about self-love, solo play in relationships and all the nitty-gritty in between. Let’s get started!

The Purpose of Self-Love Explained

If this post was about everything you do know about masturbating, it would remind you of the secrecy, shame and guilt often associated with the practice. But it’s not, so we’re moving on.

We bet you’re not 100% sure why you enjoy self-love so much, which is why we’re going to start there. Men and women both masturbate frequently, and for good reason.

Masturbation is a perfectly natural human process, that is loaded with health benefits. For one, it reduces stress, treats sexual problems, releases tension, can relieve sleep issues, and it strengthens your pelvic and anal muscles. It’s also great for cardiovascular health.

The real purpose of self-love in the context of sexuality – is to get to know yourself. Knowing your body, what turns you on, what you like and dislike, is key to having a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship with your partner.

The Down Low on Masturbation: SA Facts

Contrary to conservative rumours about the subject, there is no such thing as too much self-love. Experts agree that masturbation is normal as long as it’s not negatively impacting your regular day-to-day function.

Frequency fluctuates for everyone, and you’re not going to develop a mystery ailment or side effect from solo play.

If sex education was more prevalent in SA, you’d know that everyone does it and it doesn’t cause any harm. This of course, is not counting the negative attitudes many people have towards it.

Often relationships suffer because one or both partners believe masturbating is an act of duplicity. Couple this with porn use, and it causes more break-ups and fights than people care to admit. Self-love should never be something that falls away once people partner up.

It’s part of our individuality, a healthy, monogamous way to express sexual feelings – and it feels good. Sex with a partner on the other hand is about connection, intimacy and pleasure. It’s the same as growing up enjoying candy, and then switching to cake. Why can’t you enjoy both?

Female Masturbation and Must-Know Revelations

Women don’t masturbate – everyone knows that! Well, that’s very wrong.

In fact, according to a Men’s Health Sex Survey, 37% of women do it twice a week. The difference is, women don’t do it to porn nearly as much as men do.

Masturbation for women is critical to self-discovery, and to finding a partner that can meet her sexual needs. Female self-love is therefore a vital step on the path to real intimacy, and society should be more open about it for that reason.

Here are some must-know revelations:

  • It’s easier for a woman to orgasm during solo play
  • Because of the stigma, many women only start self-love in their twenties
  • Masturbating for women, generally involves the entire body
  • Some women don’t orgasm at all, others have several orgasms
  • Environment is way more important for female masturbation

Male Masturbation and Common Misconceptions

Masturbation for men is a lot more accepted these days in society. But despite the blossoming acceptance, there are still major differences and misconceptions going on behind closed doors.

If the South African sex education system was better, men would realise that male self-love is also essential to sustaining a healthy sexual relationship with a woman.

For one, it helps men last longer in the bedroom – which means he is more likely to satisfy her in the time she requires to get there. It also reduces the risk of erectile dysfunction, which is a lot more common these days because of online porn use.

While porn overuse is definitely bad for a relationship, masturbating is not. The two shouldn’t be thought of as one and the same.

Couples and Solo Play: Can They Be Combined?

In terms of couple’s intimacy, masturbation plays a huge role. Not only is mutual masturbation a sexy practice for couples, it’s virtually the only type of sex that is 100% safe from pregnancy and STD’s. There is such a thing as masturbating together, for mutual satisfaction and foreplay.

Couples that use sex toys to assist in self-love find the visual aspect of mutual masturbation especially attractive. It’s a great way to learn, a huge turn-on and an extremely intimate thing for two lovers to experience together.

Where can I buy sex toys for mutual masturbation? Check out our range here. We encourage you to put the stigma aside and explore yourself, for the benefit of your sexual relationship.

When you do, you’ll find that masturbating can be an asset to your relationship, keeping the fires of passion and good sexual health alive in your life!

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What are your thoughts on the stigma of masturbation in relationships?

About Désir Intimate Collection

Désir Intimate Collection is South Africa’s most exclusive online store, devoted to giving our clientele private access to the finest designer brands on the intimate luxury market. Headquartered in Camps Bay, Cape Town, Désir Online has one main goal – to help our customers find stronger intimacy, form closer relationships and build passionate love lives by dispelling the myths and social stigmas that prevent people from sensual exploration & expression.

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